Candy Totally Won't Make You Fat, Says Study Funded By Big Candy

Candy Sticks

Steve Snodgrass

It’s cool to eat as much candy as you want, you guys, no problem, just live off the stuff.

Good news, guys! Candy isn’t going to make you fat or kill you or anything negative at all! Feast on M&M’s like an 8-year-old on Halloween, because you’re totally good on this one.

Says a study funded by the National Confectioners Association, a trade group representing the candy, chocolate, and gum industry.

Some findings from the study:

1.) “Frequency of candy consumption was not associated with the risk of obesity, overweight/obesity, elevated waist circumference, elevated skinfold thickness, blood pressure, low density lipoprotein (LDL) or high density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, triglycerides, or insulin resistance.”

2.) “Increased frequency of candy consumption among adults in the United States was not associated with objective measures of adiposity or select cardiovascular risk factors, despite associated dietary differences.”

So in addition to “[fostering] industry growth by advancing the interests of the confectionery industry and its customers,” the NCA apparently funds (sketchy) scientific studies about how it’s cool to eat as much candy as you want, you guys, no problem, just live off the stuff. (Who runs this Association? I, personally, picture Candyland characters in suits sitting behind desks, barely visible through shadow and cigar smoke. But use your imagination!)

Well, some other studies would seem to disagree with the study’s assessment. But who are you going to believe? The New England Journal of Medicine or Laura Shumow, MHS, Director of Scientific and Regulatory Affairs, National Confectioners Association, who said in a press release: “There is a place for little pleasures, such as candy, in life. A little treat in moderation can have a positive impact on mood and satisfaction, and as emerging research suggests, minimal impact on diet and health risk.”

Oh, God, Big Candy, we want to believe!


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