43 Times Jose Canseco Dropped Some Science On Twitter

Jose Canseco

Wikimedia Commons/Bryan Horowitz

“do not fear the higgs bosun”

Jose Canseco, who is insane, is an impressively former major league baseball player and active Twitter user. When not tweeting about rape allegations or his paintings of Donald Trump, Canseco tweets about science–a lot. He actually fired out this gem as I was was in the process of gathering these.

We can extend our telemeres for uncontrollable reverse aging now.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 24, 2013

Take a stroll through his science tweets and maybe you might just learn something! He was once nicknamed The Chemist, after all.

If you make it to 2050 you will never die and will be able to set your perma-age

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 24, 2013

Don’t die in 2049 like a dummy.

Immortality is about 25 years away. nanobots

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 24, 2013

Made possible by nanobots.

If woman humans become hermaphrodites men would be useless and disappear

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 23, 2013

For the sake of men everywhere, please do not do this, women.

drone drone on the range where the deer and the buffalo play @barackobama @fbiwfo

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 19, 2013

So Canseco is against drone strikes… I think?

the mind is its own place.think about it

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 18, 2013

Think about it.

hey little fella @jebbush I am an immigrant should I be more fertile

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 15, 2013

Here Canseco was either a) consulting Jeb Bush for advice on if being an immigrant makes one more fertile, or b) has found a way of himself becoming more fertile and is asking Jeb Bush for permission to use this skill.

There is a tear in the space time continuum

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 4, 2013

No way to KNOW he didn’t see that.

Scotus wtf? dna ruling lets govt can take inocent people dna and put in a national database for future misuse .scalia knows

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) June 3, 2013

That’s actually a pretty well informed opinion about the SCOTUS gene patent ruling! (Kinda.)

NEVER milk a farm animal that has jsut one teat

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) May 25, 2013

Not sure if this is an aphorism, like, Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today, or actual scientific concern? Ditto:

fact if you hold a chicken upsdie down all the blood rushes to its head and it falls asleep

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) May 25, 2013

Our full mental and physical potential can be reached with the help of chemicals

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) May 11, 2013

Jose Canseco has admitted to steroid use, which is a fun fact placed below this science-related tweet for no particular reason.

I did not know you could use ladyparts to catch fish

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) May 2, 2013


there is one place i cannot go when i time travel. listen to the podcast to find out where

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 25, 2013

Classic time traveler mistake: letting the foes of time travelers know your one weakness.

i also talk about time travel. is it possible? yes. i have done it.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 25, 2013

Another fun fact is that Canseco invented both baseball and Twitter.

sometimes i misremember the future

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 20, 2013

Quality control issues.

there is stuff in the dessert that is not human

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 8, 2013

Like what?

do not fear the higgs bosun

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 21, 2013

higgs boson is lighter than i thought. Could it also have no limits in dimension or time. think about that

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 21, 2013

we are already in the alternative universe I believe or it wont happen for billions of years. it is okay

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 21, 2013


There are no old fat people. think about it

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 19, 2013

Think about it some more.

We have only been eating sugar for 500 years

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2013

Surely he means refined sugar, right? Which… is also not true, actually.

Sitting is the name of the other killer

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2013

What’s the first killer???

If you remove your prostate after 40 you can't get prostate cancer

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 6, 2013

Sound medical advice. From The Chemist.

wrong polluters you are pumping chemical treated water into the earth plus releasing methane that affects global warming. all bad dont frack

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 5, 2013

Pretty solid anti-fracking position here, actually. There’s only recently been a new report lowering the estimated amount of methane released during fracking. The poor grammar is just “nuanced” grammar.


— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 28, 2013

If only! Also, Canseco looks for some answers from actual astronauts.

hey nasa @nasakennedy can we just use the hydrogen floating in space to fuel long rocket trips to other planets? scoop it up somehow?

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 27, 2013

hey nasa @nasa @nasakennedy what about black hole catapulting

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 27, 2013

hello nasa @nasa @nasakennedy is anyone there?

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 28, 2013

FAscinated by rocketry travel. Lots of good info at http://t.co/XXA75pbUrR

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013


No way was that a meteor in russia today

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 15, 2013

What are they hiding?

But the best is last! This is the world-shaking theory on ancient gravity that started it all.

More thoughts on gravity tomorrow

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 18, 2013

Ancient gravity was much weaker

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

You ever wonder why nothing REALLY big exists today in nature

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

elephants today eight tons supersaurs two hundred tons a totally different world. why?

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

Animal tissue of muscles and ligaments could not support huge dinosaurs even standing up or pump blood up 60 foot necks

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

Gravity had to be weaker to make dinosaurs nimble

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

My theory is the core of the planet shifted when single continent formed to keep us in a balanced spin

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

The land was farther away from the core and had much less gravity so bigness could develop and dominate

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

I may not be 100% right but think about it. How else could 30 foot leather birds fly?

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

This theory spawned a rebuttal from Science Guy Bill Nye. To which Canseco responded:

Bill Nye @thescienceguy has not been relevant since the 90s #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity #headinthesandskeptic #arroganttwit #baddresser

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013

hey Bill @thescienceguy just re-read your email to huffpost regarding my scientific theories and think I shouldnt have got so mad. hug for u

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013

But things turn out on a good note. Here are Canseco’s thoughts on science:

@psteinqu @Laelaps been called worse glad to contribute to science in anyway I can

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 28, 2013


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