I think it’s fair to say that 2014 has been a pretty horrible year for many, many people, including me.
It feels like we’ve battered around, pushed up against the rocks and kicked repeatedly while we’re down. In fact, a statement that I’ve been hearing from a lot of people is: “Every time I thought I’ve hit rock bottom, I’ve discovered that there’s a whole new level of rock bottom to hit.”
And it really feels like this year has handed that new level of low out to a whole bunch of people, doesn’t it?
Where people have been hit, they’ve been hit hard. It’s been multiple deaths or life-threatening illnesses, complete separations of families, the obliteration of friendships.
People haven’t just lost a job or skipped payments; they’ve lost their home and all their assets. Businesses haven’t just had to contract or retrench a few staff – entire staff complements are losing their jobs. Even established 30-year-old businesses have had to close their doors.
You are not alone
So the first thing you have to know is that you aren’t the only one going through an experience like this right now – you are not alone.
But somehow that’s not enough this year is it? The pain of the losses and journeys we’ve all been on have felt severe, and they’ve felt like a very personal attack haven’t they?
So while I know there’s scant comfort at the moment in the fact that others are going through similar experiences, it might help you take it less personally to know that there are a number of other people experiencing something similar – which means it’s more of a pattern or trend.
Thing is, when you start taking an experience like this personally, you start doubting yourself. Along with doubt comes guilt. When we feel guilty we know we’ve done something wrong – well in our minds anyway. If you believe in the concept of an action being wrong, then you must believe in authority and hierarchy, and so you begin to fear.
When you’re plagued by fears and doubts and guilt and confusion, it makes it a million times more difficult to navigate what you’re going through.
So the benefit of knowing, and hanging onto the understanding that this is not aimed at you personally, i.e. you’re not alone, is that it helps you remain more emotionally stable, which gives you the ability to deal with what’s happening in your life in a more peaceful manner.
Life lessons, your journey, shock & trauma
At the same time, there will be individualized aspects to your learning and experience, based on who you are and where you’ve come from. You can see this in the fact that different people have been hit in different aspects of their lives.
Likewise, we all have unique values, belief systems and filters that influence our perception of the world we live in and how we experience situations. Our immediate and long term pasts also play a role in shaping our journeys.
Specifically at a time like this, the concept of immediate past becomes important… we’ve had such a long, unending run of things getting worse it feels like, that we haven’t had time to recuperate.
We’ve had repeated shocks to our systems, and every time we’ve thought it must be about to get better, something else has been piled on top. The trauma has just felt never ending.
This impacts you in a lot of ways. For a start, it makes you afraid to look forward, afraid to dream and hope. It saps your motivation and desire, sometimes your very will to live.
Desperate times – desperate measures
Which brings me to the point behind this article.
Christmas is coming up – and it doesn’t look to be the happiest one.
A lot of people have lost jobs, and as companies prepare for a new year, I’m sure many of them will take drastic steps and we’ll see more loss of jobs as companies streamline in an effort to make 2015 a better business year.
At the same time, South Africa is dangerously close to slipping into holiday mode after a short, fast-paced, stressful and exhausting year. This makes business slow to a snail’s pace.
So while we need the rest, and many of us will take time off during this period, money and business stressors and stresses will be at an all time high for many people. For some this means they won’t be able to get home to family or have a much-needed holiday. In cases, some people may be stuck completely alone over Christmas and the holiday season.
You only need a short trip around the Internet to see that depression levels are also greatly on the rise. Any community you belong to will have various depression groups and a hop over to Google trends will show you that SA has the highest search volume in the world for the term ‘how to commit suicide.’
There is light at the end of this tunnel
When you’re desperate, when you get to the place where it seems like there is no just no more hope, no more reason to hang on, it’s time to get creative.
The thing is, when you get to that low point you often feel like you’ve tried everything, you’ve done everything, and there is nothing more you can throw at it. You really haven’t done everything until you’ve tried absolutely everything though.
So, when I have a person in front of me that has hit rock bottom, and has nothing left to try, I like to suggest some powerful and unconventional approaches to tackle the problem – especially when I know the relief needs to be palpably felt and physical changes need to take place in the person’s life.
My two favourite toolkits at this juncture are Resonance Repatterning (http://nickybenson.co.za/) and Body Talk (http://www.bodytalksystem.com/practitioners/details.cfm?id=24686).
Resonance Repatterning I always liken to having twenty years of therapy in an hour and a half. It helps you tackle deep-seated issues, and very often brings about enormous relief and positive change in mental and emotional issues and areas that you thought were well beyond repair.
Body Talk is incredibly effective for helping your system cope with the effects of stress, and with your overall physical health and vitality. From chronic back pain to endless stress headaches and visits to the doctor, Body Talk is a powerful system that can help you shift all manner of ailments, aches and pains, without the need for medication or medical intervention.
Both processes work on kinesiology – which is used in sports science and medicine – and both will help you to cope better in the moment, reduce stress and tackle long-term issues and patterns that have been plaguing you. In addition, both processes also incorporate Chinese medicine practice and theory, as well as aspects such as aromatherapy, acupressure and reflexology, all combining to help your holistic system to function more fluidly overall.
While you may feel physically ill for a couple of days after your first session or two, you can expect to feel markedly physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually lighter after 24 – 72 hours. Once you’ve had a few sessions, you can easily reach a point where you feel immediate emotional, mental, physical and spiritual lightness after a session has completed.
In addition, many practitioners of both healing processes are able to work remotely, so even if you’re on the other side of the world you can get a session done and get help.
The world turns
Nothing in your life has ever lasted forever. Nothing ever will.
And like the better times passed, this too shall pass, you’ll grow stronger and wiser from it and you’ll be better equipped to live and enjoy your life and go after what makes you truly happy.
The world turns… this will pass.
Hang in there and don’t give up hope.